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Pop Ewok

Blocked

I seem to have severe writer's block. I've tried to write so many things, but I just can't seem to pull anything out. It's pissing me off because I was planning on using the two weeks I've taken off work to get down to some serious writing, and I'm going back to work tomorrow and I have nothing. I'm finding it really hard to even squeeze anything out for TFL. Gah.

Cloning Logos

And here it is. The logo for the upcoming CG animated TV series now known as The Clone Wars, a more-fleshed out update of the micro-series I guess. They're using the ESB logo style yet again, but I dig it. I just hope it's as good as Cartoon Network's Clone Wars was.

Here's a picture of the CGI animated Yoda:

The Amazing Spiders

Whilst the recent exploits of cinematic spider-related hijinks didn't really thrill me, I've become fascinated with the real life adventures of our eight-legged friends, specifically in my back garden. Sitting on our wheelie bin is I guess what you would call a colony of spiderlings, Orb Weavers I think, although I'm basing that on the big spider I saw in the same place before I noticed our new neighbouring family. These guys have stuck together like glue, except for the odd exercise, but what amazes me is the way they've migrated down the side of the bin to escape the frequent rain we've been getting. It's become almost dramatic, the daily checking up on the babies to make sure they're okay, an action which - to paraphrase Bill Bailey, I seem to have turned into an anthropomorthic drama. I used to hate spiders, mostly out of fear, but I'm really rooting for these guys to make it. As long as they don't invade the house and web up my TV.

Talkin' About Sharkin'

Is there any movie that's been ripped off more than JAWS? I'd like to know the answer, but in the meantime, the wonders of Youtube have presented me with some great clips that I'd like to share. Clips of the funniest, most awesomely bad - and usually Italian - Spielberg wannabes you'll ever see.


THE LAST SHARK (1982, d. Enzo G. Castellari) is probably the only case of a JAWS "homage" actually being sued for copying the 1975 masterpiece. When the film hit US theaters in 1982, Universal immediately took action, won the case and thus ensured that the film would never reach American soil again. Interestingly the film, described in its trailer as "The Most Terrifying Motion Picture of 1982" featured a helicopter accident and Vic Morrow, a couple of years before a helicopter accident would end Morrow's life (on the set of TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE). Still, THE LAST SHARK has a wonderful opening theme song, almost the polar opposite of JAWS's opening title. Ominous strings and underwater photography? Nah, we'll go for breezy Ameri-pop and windsurfing, thanks.

Watch the trailer here (under the US Title GREAT WHITE)

Watch the opening here. More clips here and here.


Lamberto Bava's MONSTER SHARK (1984) doesn't seem to actually be about a shark at all, more some sort of shark/octopus hybrid, but it doesn't stop it plagiarising JAWS. I've never seen it, but let's be honest, Lamberto has never been a Mario, right? Still, watch the trailer for some quality Goblin-esque synth and general ocean-related madness.

However, the one that really takes the fishcake is CRUEL JAWS, known in some territories as JAWS 5. Directed by maestro Bruno Mattei, CJ is not only a poor, poor movie, but doesn't just rip JAWS off, it steals from it outright. Combining stock footage with actual stolen clips from JAWS, JAWS 2 and JAWS 3-D (and allegedly some music cues from STAR WARS), Mattei's movie comes across as some kind of demented parody/fan film. Watch a bit here and see if you can count the stolen shots.

Of course, this wouldn't be complete without a mention of JAWS, THE REVENGE, so check out the alternative narrated opening here. I can't figure out whether someone has actually placed the narration on or Universal did actually have a narrator at some point, but either way it's really fucking weird. Fate or circumstance? You decide.

Five-second update: Apparently (well, according to Wikipedia), the narration is legit. Wow.

Life Goes On

Well, the storm has passed and we're now relaxing, by way of buying lots of stuff. Big TV, new computers, and a Wii, which I'm thoroughly enjoying, although Red Steel is still proving hard to get used to, mainly because of the control system. Though I'm now convinced that the Wii is the only true next-gen console. It's all good to have powerful processors, fancy graphics and HD DVD, but at the end of the day, it's changing the way we play games. And between it and Guitar Hero, it's all changing for the better.

We saw SPIDER-MAN 3, and boy was it disappointing. Awful writing, inconsistencies in plot, tone and characterization, but with good action bits. It seems to be loved by a lot of people though, although they're the same people who said the prequels were only good during the actiony bits, which to be honest is the same here. I can accept that it has some pure comic fun, but it's at the expense of the story and any attempt at drama, both of which fall flat under the sheer weight of trying to tie all the loose plotlines, which leads them to some exceptionally stupid choices which would be ridiculed if in any other movie (Harry's butler anyone?).

Still... the Wii is good!

Married At Last

Four More Days...

...to my wedding. Silver Shamrock!

Yes. We have been busy as fuck, hence my lack of posting in general and moviewatching. In the last two weeks or so, I've seen two films. And some Doctor Who.

I never really liked the new Doctor Who. Christopher Eccleston didn't seem like the right choice, and his doctor was annoying, and arrogant. This completely put me off the show, although I caught an episode last week with the new doctor, David Tennant, and was hooked. Tennant is a lot more fun and whimsical than Eccleston, and seems less of an attempt to hip the doctor up, instead being what he should be - a science nerd who has amazing self-belief. It's just silly monster-of-the-week fun, and hey, who doesn't love the Daleks?

I also bought a few things. First of all - while we're on the subject of nerdy SF - this:

I love it to pieces, although the photos don't do it justice at all. To be critical, the head is slightly oversized and the jacket seems maybe too small, but it's a really nice figure. Not so great as something like the Sideshow Anakin, but close enough. It also helps that he's wearing my favourite Han outfit.

I also picked up Superman Returns for the 360. I know a lot of folks slated this game, and it's frustrating at times, but I don't ask much in a game, but one of the things I do ask is to be able to zoom through Metropolis using my heat vision. And this game allows me that small grace. My one big frustration is that it doesn't use any of John Williams' Superman theme, but that's easily remedied by turning the music volume right down in the game options and playing the film soundtrack from the HDD. Greatness.